I can’t stop thinking about turning down my coworker’s request while I wait for a reply.
After finally managing to turn down a coworker’s personal request, I keep checking my phone until they reply.
Scenes
- I said no, but there’s no reply. — After work, I turned down a coworker’s personal request. When there was no reply, I kept checking my phone.
- Short replies and late replies both get to me. — After sending a message saying no, I worry whether the reply is short or late. As I wait for the other person to respond, I read my message again.
- Silence doesn’t mean yes. — When it comes to consent and boundaries, it’s not only whether the other person replied that matters. A late or missing reply tells you neither yes nor no.
- Tonight, write down just the request. — In your phone’s notes, try writing down separately what your coworker asked and what you said when you turned them down. You can see the choice you made even without a reply.
- You can look at your words before the reply. — Even if a reply comes tomorrow, the request and refusal you wrote down today will still be there. You can see the other person’s response and your boundary as separate things.
Stories by Haeon
- Haeon
- A Weekend Plan Made in Silence
- After I read the word “normal,” it starts to feel like it’s about me.
- The night they returned from the funeral, they were moving at different speeds.
- After saying no at the celebration, I’m worried about seeing them again.
- After the funeral, it’s hard to talk about our boundaries again
- A weekend afternoon, wondering how to ask about affection
- I smile and say I’m fine when it comes to talking about my body.
- After the celebration, it’s hard to bring up contraception again.