After the funeral, it’s hard to talk about our boundaries again
The evening we got back from the funeral, I couldn’t find the words to talk with my spouse about what felt okay.
Scenes
- I still can’t find the words at home — That evening after the funeral, when my spouse came close, I couldn’t bring myself to say again what felt okay.
- I said it was okay first — When my spouse came closer, I said, “It’s okay.” A little later, even when my feelings changed, I couldn’t take back what I’d said.
- Consent doesn’t end with one yes — Even in marriage, you can check in about consent each time. An earlier answer doesn’t decide how you’ll feel later.
- Try saying how you feel now — Tonight, you could say, “I said it was okay earlier, but now I want to stop.” If your partner stops, you can take a moment to catch your breath.
- You can choose your words again — You can hold your first answer and how you feel now side by side. Neither one sets the boundaries between you on its own.
Stories by Haeon
- Haeon
- The conversation about contraception stays with you on the way home.
- A Weekend Plan Made in Silence
- After I read the word “normal,” it starts to feel like it’s about me.
- The night they returned from the funeral, they were moving at different speeds.
- After saying no at the celebration, I’m worried about seeing them again.
- A weekend afternoon, wondering how to ask about affection
- I smile and say I’m fine when it comes to talking about my body.
- After the celebration, it’s hard to bring up contraception again.