I set aside money for my younger sibling from my first paycheck
On his first day at work, he decides how much allowance to give his younger sibling. When Mom offers to chip in, they find themselves talking past each other.
Ahead of his first day at work, a son decides how much allowance to give his younger sibling. When Mom offers to add more, they see things differently.
The evening before his first day at work, Minjae tells Mom he’ll set aside part of his first paycheck as allowance for his younger sibling. Mom offers to add more in case it isn’t enough, but Minjae doesn’t readily agree. In the counseling room, Cheongun points out that they’re talking about the same “allowance” but using different standards. Mom’s share is written beside the amount Minjae put down, leaving them both with a standard they still haven’t settled on.
Setting allowance expectations with your child
An allowance can reflect thoughts about who will contribute how much, as well as the amount itself.
When you talk about allowance, what would you like to decide first?
When Mom offered to add money to the amount Minjae planned to set aside for his younger sibling, two different figures landed on the table. It struck me then that they needed to decide not only how much the allowance would be, but also who would contribute what. If you’ve had an evening like that, tell us what you said to each other.
Scenes
- 01 · A share of the first paycheck The day before his first day at work — The evening before his first day at work, Minjae tells Mom he’ll set aside some of his first paycheck for his younger sibling’s allowance. Minjae: When I get my first paycheck, I’ll set aside money for my younger sibling’s allowance. Mom: How much are you thinking? If it’s not enough, I can chip in.
- 02 · Offering to chip in more Mom’s calculation — Mom taps in a number on the calculator, then says she’ll add her own money to the allowance Minjae plans to give. Mom: You could give more than you had in mind. Minjae: I want to decide how much I give.
- 03 · Different standards One number — In the counseling room, Minjae writes the allowance amount he has in mind on a note. Mom looks down at the number. Cheongun: Minjae, what are you saying you’re willing to cover with this amount? Minjae: Just what I’m giving. I don’t want to decide how much Mom adds.
- 04 · One blank line Mom’s share — Looking at the blank line beside the number, Mom says she wanted to decide separately how much she would contribute. Mom: More than how much you’d pay, I wanted us to decide together how much I should chip in. Cheongun: Minjae, what part of that stands out to you first?
Stories by Cheongun
- Cheongun
- When I step out after washing and stand before the mirror, the comparisons in my family come back to me.
- After the meeting, the plans and the spur-of-the-moment ideas clash again.
- When we get home from work, the first thing we talk about at the door is caring for our parents.
- As we left the exam room, Mom asked first.
- We put off the decision again while doing the dishes
- It’s hard to tell my parents I’m getting counseling.
- I gave them flowers, but they didn’t say thank you
- After two friends fall out, I open the group chat every Sunday night