As we left the exam room, Mom asked first.
As the exam room door closed, Mom asked before even looking at her child’s face. While the child searched for an answer, Mom’s next words stopped at the door…
Between a mother trying not to brush off her child’s worries about their appearance and the child leaving the exam room, there are still words left unsaid.
After the appointment, Mom asks seventeen-year-old Minseo how it went. Minseo puts off answering, and in the counseling room, it comes out that Mom has often brushed off her worries about her appearance. Cheongun points out the pace of their conversation, but Minseo never quite gets to say everything she wants to.
When your child worries about their appearance
When reassurance comes first, what the child wanted to say may be left unsaid.
When your child said they were worried about their appearance, what did the two of you say to each other?
The moment a question follows right on the heels of leaving the exam room stays with me. Whenever the child worries about their appearance, perhaps “It’s fine” comes first, leaving little room to hear those worries together. If you’ve had a similar moment, you’re welcome to share what you found yourself saying first.
Scenes
- 01 · After the appointment A question outside the door — As the clinic door closed, Mom asked Minseo, “How did it go?” Mom: How did it go?
- 02 · “It’s okay” The words that came first — Before Minseo could speak, Mom brushed off her worries about her appearance as no big deal. Mom: Everyone worries about that sometimes. Don’t think too much about it. Minseo: ……
- 03 · A question in the counseling room While waiting for an answer — Cheongun asked Mom if she had ever spoken first when Minseo brought up worries about her appearance. Cheongun: When Minseo brings up a worry, are there times when you speak first? Mom: Whenever that happened, I told her it was okay. I didn’t want her to worry more.
- 04 · Where the words stopped Words still unsaid — After hearing that Mom had told her it was okay, Cheongun asked Minseo what came to mind first. Cheongun: Minseo, when you hear that, what comes to mind first? Minseo: I just…
Stories by Cheongun
- Cheongun
- On payday, Dad asked me to pass that along
- At the light, I think of what I want to say to my family.
- At lunch, I want to choose my child’s career path for them.
- When I step out after washing and stand before the mirror, the comparisons in my family come back to me.
- After the meeting, the plans and the spur-of-the-moment ideas clash again.
- When we get home from work, the first thing we talk about at the door is caring for our parents.
- We put off the decision again while doing the dishes
- I set aside money for my younger sibling from my first paycheck