I missed my stop
The day after the funeral, Jiu passed the station where she usually got off. She still held on to her memories, but had not yet found a way to make it through…
On her first commute after her grandmother’s funeral, Jiu passes her usual stop and finds herself caught between memory and the day ahead.
The morning after the funeral, Jiu heads to work with her grandmother’s red scarf tucked inside her bag. Unable to get off at her usual station, she thinks it is because she still cannot let go of her grandmother. Onyu helps her look separately at erasing a memory and carrying on with today, then shows her three small paths branching out before her. Jiu sits before them, still unable to choose.
On the way to work, remembering Grandma
Returning to everyday life after losing someone can be different from forgetting them.
On the day you tried to return to everyday life after losing someone, what moment came to mind first?
You don’t have to forget right away. Instead of deciding the whole day’s path at once, let’s look at the next step while leaving one empty chair for your heart to sit in. It’s okay to leave an undecided feeling there for a while, too.
Scenes
- 01 · Before the Closing Doors 01 · Before the Closing Doors — It was the day after her grandmother’s funeral. Jiu could not take a step off at her usual station, and the doors closed before her eyes. Jiu: It’ll be okay to go one more stop.
- 02 · Red Inside the Bag 02 · Red Inside the Bag — Jiu rode past her stop and sat on an empty bench. Inside her bag was the red scarf her grandmother had worn through her last winter. Jiu: If I didn’t bring this, it would feel like she was really gone.
- 03 · One Empty Chair 03 · One Empty Chair — Without putting away the scarf, Onyu pulled one empty chair beside the table. Maybe what Jiu did not want to put down was not the scarf, but a place to carry on with her day while remembering her grandmother. Onyu: You don’t want to forget her. You want to go to work while remembering her. Let’s start by leaving one place for that feeling to sit. Jiu: Is there a place like that?
- 04 · A Morning with Three Paths 04 · A Morning with Three Paths — Each sheet held a different morning: put the scarf inside her bag and get off at her usual station; go one stop farther and get off slowly; or let work know she would be late and go back home today. Onyu: Any path is enough for today. You don’t have to choose right now. You can stay here with them for a moment. Jiu: I can't choose yet…
Stories by Onyu
- Onyu
- I keep checking the clock just before quitting time.
- When I pause at the door, my dinner gets pushed back again.
- The path where she stopped to retie her shoe
- When I get home from work, my family is already doing okay.
- When we come home from work and stand in the entryway, our future feels uncertain.
- After work, I stand in the entryway, unsure where I’ll live in the future.
- A Month Before the Presentation, They Take the Long Way Home
- When I get home and open the door, I look for that person again.