On our first night in the new home, did love mean I had to be held?
On our first night in the new home, one of us unpacked while the other fell asleep. Different ways of showing affection don’t mean there’s no love.
Scenes
- The boxes were unpacked, but I wasn’t held. — On our first night in the new home, I wanted to hold my spouse. They fell asleep while unpacking.
- All I wanted was one hug. — Among the stacked boxes, I waited for a quick hug. When my spouse started unpacking instead, I felt pushed aside.
- My spouse showed love by tidying up. — My spouse said unpacking would help us relax together. I was hoping for a hug before the tidying.
- Tidying and hugging were both ways of showing love. — Tidying and hugging were different ways of showing love. If we make just one the standard, we may miss the other person’s feelings.
- Try saying what you want, briefly. — Even tonight, you could say, “Thanks for unpacking. I’d love a quick hug, too.” See how your spouse responds.
- It takes time to learn new ways of showing love. — Even if your spouse doesn’t understand right away, you can keep learning to recognize tidying and hugging as each other’s ways of showing love. Cheongun helps couples find words that work for both.
Stories by Cheongun
- Cheongun
- When childhood comes up, we say less as we each search for an answer.
- On my birthday morning, the talk turns to caring for my parents again
- When someone believes you’re in pain
- I came home without apologizing to my child.
- Different standards for tidiness, choosing dinner at the convenience store
- In the waiting room, before deciding who should apologize
- I’m not sure how much to tell my spouse about the get-together with my friends.
- When I bring up the money I lent, our walk comes to a stop.