A mistake that followed her to the parking lot
After giving the wrong number in a meeting, Jiwoo stays in the parking lot, unable to open her car door.
Jiwoo replays her mistake all day. In the counseling room, she begins to see her saju traits as a map for understanding her reactions, not proof that she’s to blame.
In an afternoon meeting, Team Lead corrects a figure Jiwoo has presented. Even in her car after work, Jiwoo keeps replaying the moment, and she gives a brief reply to a coworker who messages to ask if she’s home. The next day, in the counseling room, Dowon lays out Jiwoo’s saju traits and suggests looking side by side at what actually happened and what she said to herself, without treating her self-blame as a verdict about her nature. Even after hearing that, Jiwoo still hasn’t found an answer. She says aloud what she told herself.
When self-blame lingers after a mistake
Rather than trying to undo the mistake, you can start by noticing what you say to yourself afterward.
What was the first thing you said to yourself after the mistake?
The moment when she kept replaying the correction in her car stays with me. One mistake had grown beyond what happened that day into a judgment about Jiwoo as a person. If you’ve been carrying a moment like that, you’re welcome to share what you said to yourself then.
Scenes
- 01 · Correcting a figure Correction — In the afternoon meeting, Team Lead corrects a number Jiwoo has presented. Jiwoo looks down at the materials. Jiwoo: I’m sorry. I read the number wrong. Team Lead: It’s okay. Please share the corrected version.
- 02 · Unable to open the car door Engine off — Jiwoo doesn’t start the car in the parking garage. The thought that she gave the wrong number in the meeting keeps circling in her head.
- 03 · A brief reply A reply saying she’s okay — A coworker messages, “Did you get home?” Jiwoo replies, “Yeah, I’m okay.” Coworker: Did you get home? Jiwoo: Yeah, I’m okay.
- 04 · Two lines on paper What I said to myself — The next day in the counseling room, Dowon places a blank notepad beside the saju reading. Jiwoo looks at the empty page rather than the reading. Dowon: Jiwoo, if you put what happened and what you said to yourself afterward side by side, which one catches your eye first? Jiwoo: I kept saying, ‘Why did I do that?’ and nothing else.
Stories by Dowon
- Dowon
- I’m still standing outside my child’s room as the morning slips away.
- Every time I check the clock just before I leave work, I wonder whether to move our plans up.
- Even while doing the dishes, I drift apart from a friend over the same thing.
- I start to say no, then swallow the words under the covers.
- When I try to write down my experience, all I can see is the work I’ve always done.
- When she’s slow to reply, I ask my daughter again.
- Every weekend afternoon, I go over my fixed costs again.
- I can't get to my plan even after putting my child to bed.