I’m still standing outside my child’s room as the morning slips away.
Even while my child gets on with things on their own, I spend the whole morning pacing outside their door.
Scenes
- The morning slips away while I stand by the door. — My child is busy in their room, and I keep pacing outside. I only realize the morning is gone when I look at the clock.
- It’s quiet in the room, and I still have things to do. — All I hear from the room is the sound of a keyboard. I start toward the kitchen, then stop and wait a little longer in case my child calls.
- When my child’s schedule changes, my morning has room in it. — When we look at the rhythm of life, we look at both a child’s growth and a parent’s day. Even when caregiving takes less time, your own time doesn’t automatically fill itself.
- Spend a little of this morning on yourself. — Tomorrow morning, if you stop outside your child’s door, try having a warm cup of tea. You may notice how your body responds during the time you used to spend keeping an eye on them.
- Even if I stand by the door again, the day goes on. — It’s okay if you find yourself outside the door again tomorrow. Learning to notice your child’s rhythm alongside your own day doesn’t happen all at once.
Stories by Dowon
- Dowon
- A mistake that followed her to the parking lot
- Every time I check the clock just before I leave work, I wonder whether to move our plans up.
- Even while doing the dishes, I drift apart from a friend over the same thing.
- I start to say no, then swallow the words under the covers.
- When I try to write down my experience, all I can see is the work I’ve always done.
- When she’s slow to reply, I ask my daughter again.
- Every weekend afternoon, I go over my fixed costs again.
- I can't get to my plan even after putting my child to bed.