You said we should get dinner, then paid first.
My friend paid for both of us without even asking what I wanted. Watching her set up our next plans, I still couldn't say I felt hurt.
At dinner, a friend pays for both meals without asking. Jisu tries to laugh it off, then pauses with the receipt between them.
A friend finishes paying without asking Jisu. They go on to make plans for next time, but once again, Jisu trails off. The mansin, who uses everyday fortune reading as a basis for counseling, lays out today's almanac and looks at one thing that's bothering her instead of drawing a big conclusion. At the table, Jisu never manages to speak up.
When resentment toward a friend builds
Hurt can grow from small decisions that leave you out, not just from one big event.
When has a friend made a decision about your share without asking you?
The part that stayed with me was how they made plans for next time after her friend paid first. What bothered Jisu wasn't the cost of dinner, but that her friend had decided without asking her. If you've been through a similar dinner, tell us about that day.
Scenes
- 01 · Paid Before Asking Paid Without Asking — Mina paid for both dinners without asking Jisu first. Jisu started to take out her wallet, then stopped. Mina: I'll get this. You can pay next time. Jisu: Oh, okay.
- 02 · Making Plans Another Dinner Planned — Mina looked up a restaurant for next time on her phone and showed Jisu. She'd just paid for dinner first, and she'd picked the restaurant too. Mina: How about this place? Let's go here next time. Jisu: Yeah, sounds good.
- 03 · The Receipt Left Behind Putting the Hurt Into Words — Jisu told the mansin how her friend had paid first without asking. She added that all she could manage, even as she took the receipt, was to say thank you. Jisu: I couldn't even say I'd pay. Jirisan Mansin: After that bill was paid, plans were already set for another dinner too. What bothered you most in that moment, Jisu?
- 04 · Today's Almanac A Day on Paper — The mansin laid out a page with today's almanac on the table and showed it to Jisu. She kept her eyes on the page and said nothing. Jirisan Mansin: You can look at today's almanac as a marker for reflecting on the day, rather than a word that decides the answer. What couldn't you say about that dinner? Jisu: I just… I could've paid too.
Stories by Jirisan Mansin
- Jirisan Mansin
- Even after a celebration, my body takes a while to settle.
- I changed again in front of the mirror.
- While doing the dishes, I hesitate over deleting my friend’s number.
- Even after we pick a day to move in together, I check the calendar again while getting ready for work.
- I meet someone I might work with, and the first thing I think of is their zodiac animal.
- When I catch my breath during a workout, my love life feels just as stuck.
- On a rainy day, an umbrella tilted for someone
- On the way home after the work dinner, the dream of getting lost stays with me.