When someone asks, I answer right away, even as I set the dinner table.
When someone asks while I’m setting the dinner table, I stop what I’m doing and say whether I can before I’ve had a chance to think.
Scenes
- A request comes while I’m setting the table — When someone asks while I’m setting the table, I answer whether I can before I’ve even put down my spoon.
- The thinking comes after the answer — I answer first so I don’t keep the person waiting, then take another look at what I need to do that evening.
- A request and saying yes don’t happen in the same moment — As you rebuild your boundaries, try separating the moment you hear a request from the moment you decide whether to accept it. Answering right away leaves no time to check whether you have time.
- First, see if you have time tonight — Today, after hearing a request, try saying, “Let me check and get back to you.” That gives you a moment to see how much time you have left this evening.
- The request is still there if you take time to answer — Waiting may not feel easy. Still, you’ll have taken a moment to consider your evening before choosing an answer.
Stories by Onyu
- Onyu
- Even after the meeting, thoughts of my parents stay with me.
- Even on my day off, I answered someone else first.
- After the meeting, I come back and start figuring out my living expenses.
- Even after a meeting, I come home and have to explain why I need to rest.
- Just before clocking out, the clock reminds me of a request
- Gray hair reflected in the window on a rainy day
- Right before clocking out, I pause before canceling our plans
- Right before quitting time, just thinking about learning makes me check the clock.