At dinner, I’m stuck on who to ask
Even over dinner, I get tongue-tied thinking about who to ask for help with care as I get older.
Scenes
- I’m stuck on who to ask — Even over dinner, I think about who I could ask if I need care in the future. When I try to think of a name, I can’t quite bring myself to say it.
- It’s hard to choose someone first — I’d feel bad asking family, but when I think of asking someone else, I’m not even sure what I’d ask them to do. My thoughts keep shifting between people and tasks.
- Break down what you’d ask for — When preparing for later life, it can help to break care into specific tasks instead of asking one person to take it all on. Going with you to a medical appointment and checking in on you can be different kinds of help.
- One thing I thought of asking for — Today, write down just one thing you’d like to ask for. Leave the name blank. When the task is clear, it’s easier to see where your thoughts get stuck.
- Take your time deciding — It’s okay if you can’t write down a name right away. This is a complicated thing to prepare for, thinking through both the task and the person. I’ll work through it with you, one piece at a time.
Stories by Onyu
- Onyu
- Even after the meeting, thoughts of my parents stay with me.
- Even on my day off, I answered someone else first.
- After the meeting, I come back and start figuring out my living expenses.
- Even after a meeting, I come home and have to explain why I need to rest.
- Just before clocking out, the clock reminds me of a request
- Gray hair reflected in the window on a rainy day
- Right before clocking out, I pause before canceling our plans
- Right before quitting time, just thinking about learning makes me check the clock.