I'm afraid of growing old in bed.
This is a story for you, whose thoughts of preparing for old age come rushing in all at once when you lie down under the covers.
Scenes
- Growing old keeps frightening me. — When I turn out the light, the days that haven't come yet come to mind first, and I can't fall asleep, afraid of becoming a burden to my family.
- Guilt comes before preparation. — I want to prepare for old age, but I end up swallowing it all alone, afraid that the moment I ask for help, I'll become someone else's responsibility.
- 1 a.m. I scroll through my contacts again. — Under the covers, I turn on my phone, start choosing someone's name to ask for help later, then turn the screen off again.
- I try to take responsibility for the whole future in the middle of the night. — Preparing for old age doesn't mean finding every answer today. We need to start by noticing the moment anxiety fills every blank with danger.
- Write down just one day you'd like to keep living. — Instead of a to-do list, write one line about the life you want to protect today. You may see the direction of your heart before you find an answer.
- You don't have to decide everything about old age today. — It's okay if your thoughts return to worry. You can look together for a place you want to lean on and a day you want to keep living.
Stories by Onyu
- Onyu
- The path where she stopped to retie her shoe
- When I get home from work, my family is already doing okay.
- When we come home from work and stand in the entryway, our future feels uncertain.
- After work, I stand in the entryway, unsure where I’ll live in the future.
- A Month Before the Presentation, They Take the Long Way Home
- When I get home and open the door, I look for that person again.
- You read over your reply to a friend on the way home from work.
- On the way home, I go to make plans with someone new, then think of them.