I asked after hugging her
Only after hugging my child did I ask. The next night, the same hand moved first.
Yunseo only asked if Harin was okay after hugging her. The next night, her hands reached out in the same order.
Each night, Yunseo hugged her child first and only then asked. Facing Harin’s brief refusals and repeated gestures, she brings up in counseling the moments when she moved first, before Harin could speak.
When It’s Hard to Ask Your Child First
Consent and boundaries begin with pausing the hand that reaches first and leaving room for the other person to choose, especially with someone close.
When greeting your child, when did you want to ask instead of deciding for them first?
The order—asking only after hugging her—stays with me longer than the scene where Yunseo withdraws her hand after being told not to hug. I saw that an adult’s hand was reaching her before she had a chance to speak. If you’re going through something similar, please tell me about it too. I hope tonight leaves room for a child’s words to linger at the threshold.
Scenes
- 01 · Before opening her arms 01 — At ten that night, Yunseo opens both arms at the threshold of Harin’s room. Harin pulls the blanket up to her chin and leans back as she looks at Yunseo. Harin: You don’t have to hug me tonight. Yunseo: Okay, I understand.
- 02 · After the door closes 02 — Yunseo lowers her arms and grips the doorknob. Harin peeks out with only her face showing and adds a few brief words. Harin: I just don’t feel like it tonight. Yunseo: Okay. Sleep well.
- 03 · The hand that reached first again 03 — The next night, Yunseo opens her arms as soon as she sits beside the bed. Harin holds a pillow in front of her and watches Yunseo’s hands. Harin: Mom, ask me first, then hug me. Yunseo: Okay.
- 04 · The moment her hand went first 04 — In the counseling room, Yunseo describes the first night and the next night in order. Her hands remain folded in her lap. Haeon: Yunseo, when was the moment your hands moved first, before Harin could speak? Yunseo: I hugged her first, then asked.
Stories by Haeon
- Haeon
- After the funeral, I find it hard to bring up contraception and testing.
- When someone reaches out after a long time, it’s hard to make plans based on silence alone.
- I fold away my hopes while waiting for a reply
- I keep putting off talking to my parents about my body every Sunday night.
- Sunday night, my feelings get tangled only after we’ve been close
- Someone I haven’t heard from in ages got in touch. Is it okay to bring up contraception first?
- It was my day off, but I said yes again.
- A group chat notification interrupts her.