I opened access all the way to the dining table
After being asked to work together, I was asked to open even my personal folders. Before Jia could refuse, she set down her chopsticks.
At dinner, Jia checks a shared work folder and realizes that a coworker’s request reaches into her private space.
While Jia checks work files over dinner, a message asks her to open access to her entire personal cloud. After reading it, Suho only asks where Jia’s hand went. When the same request comes again the next day, Jia leaves an unfinished sentence on the screen.
When you don’t want to give up your personal space
Before considering the intention behind the request, first look at exactly what access and information you’re being asked to provide.
As you slowly talk through what made you uncomfortable and the boundaries you want to keep, the words you can offer without harming the relationship will gradually become clearer.
What stays with me longer than the request to open her personal folder is the hand that read it and set down the chopsticks. I could see that Jia was already separating work from her private life in that moment. If your hand stops first again today when someone asks something of you, where would it like to go?
Scenes
- 01 · The Night They Asked for More Access 01 · The Night They Asked for More Access — While Jia was eating dinner, the person she had been working with sent a new message. They asked her to open her entire personal cloud, not just the shared work folder. Jia: You want me to open this too?
- 02 · Where Her Hand Stopped First 02 · Where Her Hand Stopped First — Jia said that after reading the message, she didn’t reply and turned her phone face down. Her hand went back to the screen several times, but in the end, she only turned on the lock screen. Suho: Jia, after reading that, where did your hand go first?
- 03 · The Same Request Comes Again 03 · The Same Request Comes Again — Three days later, the request came again while she was working on something else that evening. This time, they wanted her to connect her personal email too. Before touching her food, Jia half-closed her laptop. Jia: Do I really need to go this far to work?
- 04 · The One Thing She Couldn’t Finish Writing 04 · The One Thing She Couldn’t Finish Writing — That night, Jia typed “That’s personal…” in the reply box for the first time. Unable to continue, she left her finger hovering over the Backspace key. Jia: That’s personal……
Stories by Suho
- Suho
- I’m out for a walk when someone I don’t know starts a video call.
- On the way to work, I wonder who to tell.
- A gift comes every payday
- Someone I’d seen online was standing outside my home.
- I keep thinking about that call after the work dinner.
- After work, I’m standing at the door, and I need to change who can see my account.
- After my appointment, an offer to work together came in.
- I check the hate comments again, even after putting my child to bed.