As the year-end calendar turns, I want to change old patterns in my relationships.
I’m about to say something different to someone I’ve always accommodated, but the closer we get to the last page of the calendar, the more I hesitate.
Scenes
- At year’s end, I fall back into old patterns. — I try to say something different to someone I’ve always accommodated, but by year’s end I return to what’s familiar.
- Going along first became my role. — I’ve made time first, afraid they’d feel hurt, and put off what I wanted to say.
- I see what comes next before the words I want to change. — If I say it differently, I wonder how they’ll take it and who’ll make the next plans.
- I’m carrying my familiar role and a new choice at once. — When the role you’ve long carried overlaps with the change you want, the burden of choosing can feel like a lot all at once.
- Tonight, write down just one thing you’d like to change. — In one calendar box, write a small change, like “Next time, I won’t be the first to set a time.” Notice what comes up.
- The calendar turns, but you can choose one thing at a time. — Old patterns don’t change just because the year does. Still, you can choose again what role you want to take.
Stories by Haewol
- Haewol
- My feet hurt after the interview.
- Whether to keep learning, I pause at the bank counter.
- Before bed, I opened the contract again.
- When I turn out the light and lie down, I think again about the personal information I shared.
- After the meeting, when I get back, I start second-guessing the habit I wanted to change.
- Thinking about a new customer base wakes me before dawn.
- Even after the funeral, I’m still unsure whether to leave the group or stay.
- Sitting in the parked car, I try not to call Mom first.