They say it’s a joke, but even after the funeral, I can’t just let it go.
When a coworker made a rude joke, I laughed it off. But after going to the funeral, it was hard to laugh when I heard something similar again.
Scenes
- The day after the funeral, that joke came up again. — My coworker joked about my going to the funeral. I laughed it off, but when something similar came up the next day, I stopped laughing.
- I let it go once, but hearing it again felt different. — At first, I laughed because I didn’t want to spoil the mood. When a similar joke came up again, my earlier laughter seemed like an answer too.
- It’s not whether it’s a joke, but what you want to stop — When dealing with conflict at work, separate intent from behavior. Even if the other person thought it was a joke, you can be specific about what you want them to stop.
- You can say that comment made you uncomfortable — Tonight, write one sentence about the joke you want to stop. Something like, “Even as a joke, that makes me uncomfortable.” Once it’s written down, you can see how long it is.
- Notice how they respond after you speak up — After setting a boundary, you can notice whether they stop or brush it off with another joke. Their response can shape what you address next.
Stories by Baekho
- Baekho
- Once I’ve put my child to bed, everything I need to do tomorrow comes rushing to mind.
- On the first night after the move, Mom objected.
- When the meeting ends, “I’m fine” is the first thing I say.
- I want to say how it was, not just “It was totally fine.”
- After the holiday, I count what I’ll earn after quitting at the table.
- Even on a night away alone, I keep thinking about my team member’s performance.
- Asking why in front of the mirror
- It was true, but I’ve been trying to take it back all morning.