By afternoon, thoughts of my friend bring work to a halt.

After wondering whether I should be in touch with my friend less, I find that by afternoon I can’t focus on what I’m doing.

Scenes

I can’t focus on work when I think about my friend. — I open a document in the afternoon, but keep wondering whether to stay in touch with my friend. I put off deciding, and my work falls behind.
I keep going back and forth about cutting contact. — I wonder in turn whether making plans with my friend would feel as easy as before, or whether not doing so would make us drift too far apart. It feels like I have to choose one or the other.
The thoughts continue even after I get home. — After seeing my friend, I wonder that evening whether to make plans again. Instead of how the visit felt, I think first about whether we’ll keep seeing each other.
I notice what the relationship leaves in my day. — Choosing friends isn’t only about deciding whom to stop contacting. You can also notice how your day changes before you meet and after you get home.
Write down how you feel after seeing your friend today. — Tonight, jot down a line about how you felt before seeing your friend and another about how you felt after getting home. Check in with your experience first, before making your next decision.
Take your time choosing friends, too. — Choosing friends again doesn’t have to mean deciding to end a relationship. Onyu helps you look at the time you spend together and the days that follow as you find the connections that fit your life now.