When I think of my child’s report card, I end up grading myself too.

When I’m grocery shopping and remember something my child did well, I feel proud for no particular reason.

Scenes

The report card comes along to the store — I’m picking out clementines at the grocery store when my child’s report card comes to mind. When they do well, I feel like a good parent. When they fall short of expectations, my score drops too.
Their successes feel like my doing — On days my child is praised, I feel like I’ve done a good job supporting them. On other days, the same effort can seem like it wasn’t enough.
I measure myself by the results — My child’s achievements are what they’ve accomplished. When I read those results as my own score, their part and mine end up on the same line.
Recall one thing you did today — Try recalling just one thing you did for your child today. It’s a way to notice your own actions separately from the results.
Results and effort stand apart — Even on days when your child’s results weigh on you, what you’ve done as a parent is its own thing. You don’t have to bundle the two into one score.