Even at lunchtime, I feel like I shouldn't take a break.
Seorin thought she disliked eating lunch alone. But before the gimbap, what she reached for was yet another favor from someone.
At each lunch break, Seorin takes care of others' requests first. Then she faces a moment of telling apart the loneliness of being alone from the feeling that she cannot claim her share.
At 12:18 p.m., Seorin sits on the library stairwell landing, unable to open her gimbap wrapper, and turns her phone face down. She thought eating alone was the problem, but as she looks into it with Dalbit, she discovers she felt guilty putting her own needs first. In the end, three small paths appear—eating, walking, and asking—and Seorin's hand pauses without choosing any of them.
When it feels selfish to look after yourself first
You can feel lonely eating lunch alone and still feel bad about putting your own lunch first.
When do you usually put off getting lunch for yourself?
It's okay to want to be alone and still feel hurt by being alone. Today, instead of trying to solve the whole lunch break, let's look together at one thing within reach.
Scenes
- 01 · Lunch Left Unopened 01 · Lunch Left Unopened — Though she knew there were twelve minutes left in lunch, Seorin still couldn't open the triangular gimbap wrapper. She had answered other people's requests right away all morning, but kept putting her own hunger off until later. Seorin: Even at lunchtime, I feel like I shouldn't take a break.
- 02 · My Share, Put Off 02 · My Share, Put Off — It wasn't because she disliked eating lunch alone. All morning, she had been taking down orders and requests, pushing her own lunch back until everyone else's business was finished. Minji: Seorin, aren't you going to eat your gimbap? Seorin: I’m going to eat… just let me text back first.
- 03 · Guilty Hunger 03 · Guilty Hunger — Seorin said that more than feeling lonely eating alone, she felt as though taking care of her own share first meant turning her back on someone. Dalbit did not correct her; she simply nudged the paper rabbit a little closer to Seorin. Dalbit: It's okay to feel hurt by being alone and still want to rest. Let's take our time looking together, starting with the guilt that rises when you take care of your own share. Seorin: I kept putting off eating when I was hungry, too.
- 04 · Lunch at a Three-Way Crossroads 04 · Lunch at a Three-Way Crossroads — Dalbit lays three paths before Seorin: eat three bites of gimbap and sit by the window, take one lap around the back garden, or ask someone if they can eat together. Seorin still has not placed her hand on any of them. Dalbit: It's okay if you don't manage to get through all of today's lunch. Let's look together, one at a time, starting with whichever makes your heart feel a little less tense. Seorin: I want to try all three… at least a little.
Stories by Dalbit
- Dalbit
- Folding laundry, I start worrying about my child again
- In the family chat, it’s always Mom who speaks
- When the elevator doors close, I want a moment alone.
- After I take a photo, I only look for my old face.
- Friday evening, feeling low for no reason
- When I see my reflection in the subway window, I have even less to say to my husband.
- On Friday evening, I was left alone in a room with the light on.
- After saying you’re okay on your first day