I answered, but I still haven’t said what I want to do

Scenes

• I smile and answer when asked what I’ll do next — When my team leader asked about my career plans, I smiled as if I’d already thought it through and said, “For now, I’m staying here.”
• Only after I get home does that answer start to feel unfamiliar — After coming home and setting down my glass, I find myself wondering again whether those words were really what I thought.
• The answer came out before the question was finished — After a few rounds of drinks, my team leader asked, “Are you going to stay here?” I answered before I even had time to pause.
• The answer I gave to protect my place and my true direction are different — When I think about my career, I separate the answer I gave to preserve my relationships in front of others from what remains important when I’m alone.
• Let’s place the two answers side by side — Write one line about the answer you gave today and one about the work you would choose if no one had asked. Notice which one feels heavier.
• The answer you gave that day doesn’t decide your whole path — The words that came out first at dinner were simply the answer you made in that moment. You can look again at what remained afterward.