When you see the first question, the words begin to flow

Scenes

• I write down everything I want to ask, but I can’t get the first sentence out — I keep revising my notes until the exam-room door opens, but when my name is called, the question I most wanted to ask is the first thing to fade.
• I try to say everything so I won’t leave anything out, and miss the very first words — When you put all your questions out at once because you don’t want to miss anything, it becomes hard for the other person to know where to begin answering.
• When the door opened, all the words I’d prepared collided — 9:50 a.m. When my name was called, I went in with my notes and brought out the first question and everything I wanted to explain afterward all at once.
• The first sentence sets the direction of the conversation more than the details do — When you try to get every question out, the important order gets blurred. If you choose one first, you have room to decide what to say next as you listen to the answer.
• Choose just one line from your notes—the question you most want to ask first — Try starting with, “The one thing I really want to ask today is…” After you hear the answer, you can add the next question.
• With just one first question, there’s room to speak again — It doesn’t mean it’s okay that you couldn’t say everything that day. Next time, you can start by looking at what you want to ask first.