Every time you turn the calendar page, you find yourself counting your child’s year.

Scenes

• You keep counting your child’s year. — Asking what your child did while turning the calendar, you start noticing the days that went missing before the days you spent together.
• You only wanted to ask if they were doing well. — Even while looking for something to praise, when your child gives a short answer, you start wondering if you failed to truly see them this year.
• You asked about the year in front of the calendar. — At 9 p.m., the parent pointed to the events marked on the calendar. The child stared at the tip of the pen, then took a sip of water.
• Broad questions turn a child into a report. — Between parent and child, asking about the whole year makes the child search first for the answer the parent is waiting to hear, rather than the one they want to give.
• Look at just one date together. — Today, choose one date on the calendar and ask what happened that day. Even if your child’s answer is short, try waiting for what comes next.
• You don’t have to tell the whole year. — Even one scene your child brings up can begin a conversation between you. When the pauses keep repeating, you can start by noticing who pulled their chair closer first.