2:40 p.m., your hand stops on one cell

This is for you, when every afternoon you check the same things over and over, until you can’t start anything at all.

Scenes

Every afternoon, I can’t get myself to work — The screen is on, but I keep looking at the same sentences and numbers. I want to move my hand, but my heart stops first.
My first thought is that I must not get it wrong — Even when no one is rushing me, it feels as though one mistake will throw off the whole day’s work. So I end up clinging to checking instead of starting.
I look back again even after fixing one cell — 2:40 p.m., after fixing one number in the table, I can’t let go of the mouse. Just as I try to move on, I click that cell again.
The more I check, the narrower my world feels — When your heart sends out an alarm after a small mistake, your eyes get stuck in one place. The harder you try to focus, the longer you keep checking that cell.
Try moving your gaze one cell away — Put down the mouse and notice just one sensation: the soles of your feet touching the floor. Your mind may not loosen right away, but your view may widen a little.
Even in a paused afternoon, the next cell is still there — It’s okay if you don’t come all the way back at once. From the moment you notice your caught-up heart, let’s look together at the next cell.